As I sit here in the still of the night at 4:22am on December 23, I feel full body tingles reading about the power of herbs. For some reason, I feel compelled to write. Without overanalyzing my thoughts that flow through, I write to you.
Just earlier, in the darkness while laying under the soft covers with our very active toddler snoozing soundly, I awoke to a voice. I am currently in my third trimester and I feel that I have been quite tired throughout the day. Most likely because I have a toddler to care for this time. I tend to drift to sleep with him at around 8-9pm. Lately, at around 3-4am it’s as if someone taps me awake. I feel fully awake laying in the soft covers and I remain still with my mind unraveling. When I don’t write, my mind unravels like the blossoming of a pinecone… Pew!Pew!Pew! Seeds are flying everywhere and the petals of the pinecone exalt themselves. I tend to surrender to these thoughts that fire freely and I have a very lucid experience with them. Most mornings, the thoughts are scattered and disconnected there is no making sense of why these thoughts are flowing through. Later on, if something feels it holds significance, I’ll jot it down in my notebook.
Lately (because I’ve been falling asleep early), I’ve been able to have a quiet savasana mindfulness practice in the morning. If I’m lucky, I’ll wake up just before Stormrider and have a solid 30 minutes to an hour or laying in the quiet stillness between 7-8am. Sometimes it’s at 3-4am where I get utter silence… besides the snoring or coo-ing that goes on in the background. Waking up at those hours, the whole town feels so very still and quiet. I love the utter silence. No trains, no cars, no neighbours talking outside, no doors closing shut from our apartment neighbours. What I can feel deeply is my inhale and exhale, the rising and falling of the womb. Scanning my body gently.
Dreams have been extremely vivid, especially because I am in my third trimester of pregnancy. Sometimes they are quite lucid. Since giving birth to Stormrider, I’ve been having a difficult time with recollection. I am either snapped awake, feeling my fight/flight response kick in because of my abrupt wake-up call by Stormrider; sometimes because I smell poop in his diaper. With those sort of wake-ups, the dream slips through the cracks. Throughout the day, I remain mindful that visions and thoughts that arise may be connected to my dreamtime. My subconscious mind tends to show glimpses of what I dreamed. I always have my notebook in my backpack for those moments. When days get busy, it is so easy for these brief AHA! moments to slip away. Writing helps bring me back to the thoughts and visions that flow through – I can always look back and reflect on it later that day.
After dreamtime reflection, what I most definitely make time for in the morning is silently expressing gratitude. It brings my awareness to the beautiful things that surround us daily that may be overlooked or easily taken for granted. Sometimes I give gratitude for hard-learned lessons. Othertimes, it is as simple as the air that we breathe and the fresh water we drink. I allow the gratitude to flow through without overthinking. It’s a very gentle way to start the day! If Stormrider is awake, I’ll express gratitude verbally to share with him my mindfulness practice.
It’s now 5am. I have read through ‘Ask and It Is Given’ (by Esther and Jerry Hicks) for the second time, and I feel compelled to share with you an excerpt that has stuck to me:
…When you becocme aware of the feeling of your emotions, you can also be aware of your vibrational offering. Once you combine your knowledge of the Law of Attraction with your in-this-moment awareness of what your vibrational offering is, then you will have full control of your own powerful point of attraction.
When you made the decision to come forth into this physical body, you fully understood your eternal connection to Source Energy, and you knew that your emotions would be constant indicators that would let you know, in every moment, your current relationship with Source Energy.
You mold it through your power of focus – by thinking about things, remebering things, and imagining things. You focus the Energy when you speak, when you write, when you listen, when you are silent, when you remember, and when you imagine – you focus it through the projection of thought.